Pro-Choice Moms

Beatrice Fedor

Contributed by Beatrice Fedor

Until February 15th 2013, women were invited to share their abortion stories on CNN Ireport. The picture below is a screenshot of a CNN Ireport user who goes by the name “TheProChoiceMom.” TheProChoice Mom left a series of derogatory comments on abortion regret testimonies posted on CNN’s website.  Why would a woman, a mother – who claims to support choice – lash out at other women who publicly express regret that they once chose abortion?  The slogan at TheProChoice Mom twitter site reads “Showing America Pro-Choice DOESN’T mean Pro-Abortion!”

In my recent interactions with pro-choicers, I have noticed a pattern in women referring to themselves as a “pro-choice moms”:

1- They have one child born before or after they had an abortion (telling people that their child is “raised pro-choice”).

2- They had an abortion for “medical reasons” including genetic disease diagnosis, severe morning sickness, depression, anemia, cysts and arthritis pain.

3- They are angry at anybody who says that abortion hurts women, especially post-abortive pro-lifers.

4- They assert that abortion saved their life and anybody who says otherwise cares more about “non-sentient fetuses than women”, “would want to see them dead” and “deprive their born child from their mother” (quoting from ProChoiceMom).

5- Some of them had an incomplete miscarriage that required a D&C procedure and they call it an abortion.

Let me share a few reflections on this pattern.

It is always a tragedy to lose a child but let us be clear: having a D&C after a miscarriage does not constitute an abortion. Pro-lifers have no objection to the removing of an already dead baby. Many people are misinformed about abortion and, sometimes, we are not even talking about the same thing. Some believe that allowing medical treatment for an incomplete miscarriage = being “pro-choice”.

What causes this misinformation? I think it is the prevailing narrative that abortion = removing a fetus. not killing, not destroying; just “removing something that is too small to be human and alive”.  I have written publicly about my post abortion experience and regret, so I hear from a broad range of people. Last year, after sharing how abortion affects women, I received this Tweet:

Also, my general impression is that some women are told to have an abortion – as their only or best option – by misguided doctors. In this sense, women are sometimes denied health care for treatable conditions, or the opportunity to consider truly viable “other options”. I think we should worry about that trend.

We could speculate on the feelings behind venom-spewing pro-choice moms on the Internet, but, to quote the Letter to the Ephesians, we are up against principalities and powers. This is not a war of pro-life moms versus pro-choice moms. This is a spiritual battle and anybody’s heart can be changed. We have to discern when to speak (always share the truth in love) and when to be quiet. Let us keep all the pro-choice moms of the world in our prayers and trust that eventually, anger will subside and truth will prevail.

Béatrice Fedor is a pro-woman, anti-abortion, anti-violence advocate. The mother of three, she was raised in a culturally Catholic family in France; embraced liberal feminism, atheism and humanism. She has served as a trade union leader, taught a creative writing class and authored an unpublished book of poetry. The scar of her abortions moved her to search for God, and by His Grace, she has found peace and healing. She joined the Silent No More Awareness Campaign in 2008. “Neither do I condemn you” John 8:11. This post is edited and reprinted from her blog 400 Words for Women, the post originally appearing at

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